Episode 220: 5 Steps To Manifesting Your Extraordinary Life with Efia Sulter

 
 

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In this episode Mindset & Manifestation Coach, Efia Sulter shares her tried and true 5-step framework for aligned manifestation.

You will discover:

  • a helpful exercise for surrendering, even when it seems like things really aren't working out

  • the difference between attachment, detachment and not caring

  • why what you want doesn't manifest sometimes

  • how to embody the vibration of your higher self

  • why it's important to set powerful intentions

KEY NUGGETS:

[04:08] Creating an Extraordinary Life

[13:05] The 5 step Framework for Aligned Manifestation (The V.I.B.E.S method)

[24:10] Thoughts Becoming Reality

[32:16] Creating Balance Between Your Masculine and Feminine Energies. 

[37:00] Secrets To Surrender

[50:28] Everything Always Works Out.

[52:03] Nuggets of Wisdom

About Efia Sulter

Efia is a Mindset & Manifestation Coach, NLP practitioner, and host of ‘The Manifest Edit Podcast’. Her mission is to empower and teach ambitious women how to stop playing small, confidently manifest their desires, and live an extraordinary life.

Serving as a practical example of her work after being orphaned at 14, grappling with mental illness and chronic pain to then moving overseas and building her soul-aligned life + business, Efia has inspired thousands around the world to create their lives by design.

Through her coaching and free virtual retreats Efia highlights the strategy, science, and spirituality behind manifestation in order to provide actionable advice from a grounded, no BS perspective.

How To Create An Extraordinary Life

At [04:08], Efia explains how creating that extraordinary life involves thinking about what we want from a personal standpoint. It's really about creating your own permission slip for the life you want to live.

How Efia Became a Manifestation Coach

After completing her first degree in Media, Efia went for her Masters but realized she had no interest in the field that she was studying. This prompted her to take some time off rather than go straight into a career. Sometimes we think our lives will be defined by a set of difficult circumstances we're facing but it’s that moment that transforms us if we can have an awareness to shift our reality.

Tune in at [06:01] for more on Efia’s story

 The 5 step Framework for Aligned Manifestation (The V.I.B.E.S method)

 When you approach Manifestation from the lens of what you want to have without first realizing who you want to be, that's where the disconnect happens.

 That’s why the first step is "Embodying the vibe of your higher self" - know who you want to be and act in that way right now so that the external reality matches your truth. This also determines your goals and reaction to challenging situations.

The next step is 'Setting powerful intentions' - how can you move towards what you want and not just away from what you don't want?

 The third step is 'Energetic blocks and boundaries' - this is where you deal with doubts and create the space to invest your time and energy in yourself.

Next is 'Balancing your feminine and masculine energy' - we all have both and it's about understanding your working styles to take inspired action.

The last step is 'Surrender' - you have to surrender to the process and trust yourself.

Go to [13:05] for more!

 Thoughts Becoming Reality

 At [24:10], Efia explains that a lot of people assume manifestation is just about wish thinking, but it is more than that. This is the process of taking action on the spiritual practices to move something that exists in your internal reality to something that exists in your external reality.

 Creating Balance Between Your Masculine and Feminine Energies

 You need to understand your physiology and the way you speak to yourself. This forms a baseline to help you read your emotions and take appropriate steps based on where your energy is at each time.

Manifestation is personal and has its impacts on an individual level

The goal is eventually to get to a place of an internal state of equilibrium - not because unpleasant things won't happen in your life but because this approach to your life will change.

Listen in at [32:16] for more insight on this.

Secrets to surrendering

 At [37:00], Efia highlights that there is a difference between surrendering and not caring. Not caring is basically having indifference towards something with the belief that it makes no difference in your life.

Detachment involves caring about something but not being particular about when or how it happens, with the mindset that even if does not happen, that doesn't define you.

Attachment is deriving validation from something happening exactly the way you want it to happen; it comes with a needy energy around it. Attachment is not something we need to lean into.

Surrendering is about deepening trust. For anyone having difficulty with surrendering regarding an issue, find evidence before it happens; it helps to think back to other situations that have worked out in your life, especially the ones you did not expect to work out. Anything that gives fun and excitement is a high vibe that brings you into manifestation.

 Everything Always Works Out

 One of the lessons Efia has learned is that everything always works out. Rather than wait to see this in hindsight, knowing that it works out helps her to surrender and feel supported. Efia also shares she is surrendering to both the shadow and the light, enjoying her ability to express her emotions, which makes her powerful. More of this at [50:28],

RESOURCES:

  • “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks.

Connect with Efia:

Website: efiasulter.com

Instagram: @efiasulter

Efia’s Podcast: Manifest Edit Podcast

QUOTES:

"When it comes to creating our extraordinary visions, often we don't allow ourselves to dream as big as we truly would like" [04:15]

"There are things that we think we want and then there are the things that we truly want" [05:18]

“Manifestation to me was a way of not just dreaming about having more for myself but actually creating it" [12:56]

"We shouldn't be faking it until we make it, we should be embodying it" [14:25]

"Boundaries is about taking that radical responsibility at the same time as having compassion for yourself in the process" [17:10]

"So long as you’re waiting for people to validate you, the goal post is always going to be moved… always" [23:12]

"The perception that most people have is that 'I'll believe it when I see it' but we actually need to believe it and then see it" [44:48]

"We do all the practices, we take all the action, but also leave room for magic" - [46:35]

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Episode 219: A Cure For Overwhelm (Daily Inspiration)

 

Accomplishing a big goal like trying to get your business off the ground or making a complete career change can feel overwhelming.  So can taking action on things that are hella scary... like making a pitch to a company that you'd really like to work with and risk being rejected.  Instead of letting overwhelm and fear paralyze you, in this episode I show you what you can do instead.

Work With Me

Let's get you some coaching so that you can stop staying stuck tight in a bud.

Coaching helps you create a stronger sense of inner connection so that you can remember how amazing you are more often than not. As a result, you’ll step into the fullest version of yourself and have the confidence to live the life that you know you're meant for.

Schedule a complimentary discovery coaching session with me

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Episode 217: Create A Habit To Believe In Yourself (Daily Inspiration)

 

At the beginning of every week, I release an episode to help you remember the amazing, wonderful, light-filled being that you are!

You’ll walk into the day/week remembering what it’s like to be the fullest version of yourself and make choices that align to that rather than choices that keep you stuck tight in a bud.

Use this as a meditation or visualize with your eyes open as you get ready for your day, on your commute to work, on your daily walk or whatever you’re doing. Just stay present with the words and really let yourself envision the guidance.

The more often you listen the better because you’re creating a habit of recognizing the best version of you rather than the usual Eeyore default of “not good enough”.

I know what it’s like to feel like you’re trying SO hard all of the time. It can feel exhausting, tiresome and frustrating.

When we put too much pressure on ourselves (to do more, be more, get '“there” faster), we tend to lose sight of how far we’ve already come and how amazing we already are.

Here’s inspiration to stop staying small, play all out and burst into the fullest version of yourself!  Whatever your heart's calling out for, you got this!  You can do this!  Listen to this episode so that you remember this for yourself too.

Work With Me

Let's get you some coaching so that you can stop staying stuck tight in a bud.

Coaching helps you create a stronger sense of inner connection so that you can remember how amazing you are more often than not. As a result, you’ll step into the fullest version of yourself and have the confidence to live the life that you know you're meant for.

Schedule a complimentary discovery coaching session with me

Subscribe to Curious Monki

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Episode 216: Let Your Inner Wisdom Guide You (Daily Inspiration)

 

In pursuing your heart’s calling there is no formula and that’s not a bad thing.  This episode is a reminder of the wisdom that you have within - one that gives you customized answers toward your best path.

If you're finding yourself in a spiral of futile Google searches, here's inspiration to get you back into alignment and examples of what it looks like to follow your inner wisdom.

Work With Me

Let's get you some coaching so that you can stop staying stuck tight in a bud.

Coaching helps you create a stronger sense of inner connection so that you can remember how amazing you are more often than not. As a result, you’ll step into the fullest version of yourself and have the confidence to live the life that you know you're meant for.

Schedule a complimentary discovery coaching session with me

Subscribe to Curious Monki

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Episode 215: Inspiration To Stop Staying Small (Daily Inspiration)

 

At the beginning of every week, I release an episode to help you remember the amazing, wonderful, light-filled being that you are!

You’ll walk into the day/week remembering what it’s like to be the fullest version of yourself and make choices that align to that rather than choices that keep you stuck tight in a bud.

Use this as a meditation or visualize with your eyes open as you get ready for your day, on your commute to work, on your daily walk or whatever you’re doing. Just stay present with the words and really let yourself envision the guidance.

The more often you listen the better because you’re creating a habit of recognizing the best version of you rather than the usual Eeyore default of “not good enough”.

I know what it’s like to feel like you’re trying SO hard all of the time. It can feel exhausting, tiresome and frustrating.

When we put too much pressure on ourselves (to do more, be more, get '“there” faster), we tend to lose sight of how far we’ve already come and how amazing we already are.

Here’s inspiration to stop staying small, play all out and burst into the fullest version of yourself!  Whatever your heart's calling out for, you got this!  You can do this!  Listen to this episode so that you remember this for yourself too.

Work With Me

Let's get you some coaching so that you can stop staying stuck tight in a bud.

Coaching helps you create a stronger sense of inner connection so that you can remember how amazing you are more often than not. As a result, you’ll step into the fullest version of yourself and have the confidence to live the life that you know you're meant for.

Schedule a complimentary discovery coaching session with me

Subscribe to Curious Monki

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Episode 214: Protecting Your Energy As An Empath with Rebecca Gibson

 
 

How’s your energy doing?

September tends to be a unique time where we simultaneously reflect on the year so far and also have a frantic sense of urgency to “get things done” as we realize that there are only a few months left of the year.

Today’s episode focuses on the former.

For me, 2021 doesn’t feel much easier than 2020. While there was great joy and relief in seeing humans again there was also a lot of re-learning of what it’s like to be around others, in-person. I found myself feeling like a deflated floaty almost after every gathering of over 10 people.

Nothing like being a hermit for over 12 months to help you realize the energetic effect that other humans have on you.

This is happening in conjunction with constantly changing restrictions/requirements and a still very present emotionally charged environment.

So, how’s your energy doing?

If you’re feeling heavy, weighed down and perhaps even drained, this episode that we’re revisiting from last year will help!

Rebecca Gibson, Spiritual Strategist and Psychic Medium, shows you practices that you can use to keep your energy clear.

We also talk about what being empathic means and how to tell if you’re an empath.

Hint: If you find yourself sensitive to other people’s energies there’s a high chance you might be empathic. Other signs might include experiencing unexplained dampening of your energy or bouts of sadness that leave you drained.

This is also the episode where I learned a new term - spiritual hygiene. I love this term and it really helps me better understand how to take care of my energy. I’m really excited for you to learn about it too because it makes all of this stuff feel more second nature and easy.

Listen in to discover:

  • How to tell if you're an empath

  • What it means to be empathic

  • Why energy exchanges cause empaths to feel drained

  • How to prevent yourself from taking on energy that you don't want

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Key Nuggets:

What is an empath?

What does it really mean to be and empath…what does it feel like to be one? What kinds of experiences do they or have they encountered? Rebecca shares with us traits of an empath like how they absorb other people’s emotions and experience massive fluctuations in their own emotions.

Are you an empath?

Rebecca shares 13+ signs and examples that will help you know if you’re an empath such as:

  • absorbing other people’s emotions

  • being drained from watching the news

  • feeling completely isolated

  • noticing that groups of people vibe at your vibe (ex. if you’re happy and you walk into a room others seem to be happy; if you’re anxious and you walk into a room it seems that everyone else becomes anxious)

  • people confide in you and leave feeling amazing while you’re left feeling like crap (headache, anxious, cramping…)

Spiritual Hygiene!

One of my new favorite terms! This is an easy term to remember to help you cue into protecting your energy.

“Just as you’d wash your hands after shaking a bunch of people’s hands, you need to wash off your energy after bumping energies with others”

Rebecca gives us several amazing ways to clear and protect your energy. They’re simple and definitely something that you can do right away!

Links:

If you have any questions for Rebecca or want to learn more, connect with her through:

Website:  www.rebeccagibson.com.au

Email:    info@rebeccagibson.com.au

Instagram:@rebeccagibsonpsychicmedium

Facebook: @RebeccaGibsonPsychicMedium

Episode 213: How To Simplify So That You Can Proceed With Ease (Daily Inspiration)

 

When you have big spirited visions of what you want to create, each step can feel hard sometimes because the summit can seem so far away.  This is where today's daily inspiration comes in - LET IT BE EASY!

In this episode, here's a dose of inspiration to help you:

- release the mind stuff (ex. the perfectionism that makes you take 5 hours to do something when it can only take 20min; the resistance that makes you feel like you'll "never" make it...)

- creatively take the path of least resistance (aka. let it be easy)

Work With Me

Let's get you some coaching so that you can stop staying stuck tight in a bud.

Coaching helps you create a stronger sense of inner connection so that you can remember how amazing you are more often than not. As a result, you’ll step into the fullest version of yourself and have the confidence to live the life that you know you're meant for.

Schedule a complimentary discovery coaching session with me

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Episode 212: Stay In Your Lane And What's Authentic To You (Daily Inspiration)

 

Your truth may not always be agreeable with everybody around you but stay in your lane and don't let the naysayers take you away from truth.  This might mean that you follow your heart and become a yoga teacher even if others insist it's not a "real job".  Maybe you follow a heartfelt pursuit that nobody seems to get. 

You are the trailblazer for your vision.  You create the opportunities and vision that others may not be able to see yet.

Today's episode is a reminder to keep going and follow what's true to you!

Resource: 

Listen to Ep.202 - 3 Ways To Discover Your True Self with Kelly Smith

Work With Me

Let's get you some coaching so that you can stop staying stuck tight in a bud.

Coaching helps you create a stronger sense of inner connection so that you can remember how amazing you are more often than not. As a result, you’ll step into the fullest version of yourself and have the confidence to live the life that you know you're meant for.

Schedule a complimentary discovery coaching session with me

Subscribe to Curious Monki

iTunes | Spotify | Libsyn

Episode 211: Remember Your Light (Daily Inspiration)

 

At the beginning of every week, I release an episode to help you remember the amazing, wonderful, light-filled being that you are!

You’ll walk into the day/week remembering what it’s like to be the fullest version of yourself and make choices that align to that rather than choices that keep you stuck tight in a bud.

Use this as a meditation or visualize with your eyes open as you get ready for your day, on your commute to work, on your daily walk or whatever you’re doing. Just stay present with the words and really let yourself envision the guidance.

The more often you listen the better because you’re creating a habit of recognizing the best version of you rather than the usual Eeyore default of “not good enough”.

I know what it’s like to feel like you’re trying SO hard all of the time. It can feel exhausting, tiresome and frustrating.

When we put too much pressure on ourselves (to do more, be more, get '“there” faster), we tend to lose sight of how far we’ve already come and how amazing we already are.

Here’s inspiration to stop staying small, play all out and burst into the fullest version of yourself!  Whatever your heart's calling out for, you got this!  You can do this!  Listen to this episode so that you remember this for yourself too.

Work With Me

Let's get you some coaching so that you can stop staying stuck tight in a bud.

Coaching helps you create a stronger sense of inner connection so that you can remember how amazing you are more often than not. As a result, you’ll step into the fullest version of yourself and have the confidence to live the life that you know you're meant for.

Schedule a complimentary discovery coaching session with me

Subscribe to Curious Monki

iTunes | Spotify | Libsyn

Episode 210: 4 Questions To Help You Make Decisions With Confidence

 

Big decisions that have a significant impact on your life are hard to make because the stakes seem so big. At the worst of times, the stakes are so scary that we stay paralyzed and decide to do nothing at all (which isn't helpful). 

Considering it logically and analyzing the crap out of it isn't always necessarily the best way because what looks good on paper might not be right for you.

Becoming aware of how your body (especially your heart & gut) responds when making decisions that are aligned versus decisions that aren't right for you will help you make more decisions that put your on your best path.

The thinking mind shouts loudly but the soul speaks in whispers.

In this episode, I share with you 4 questions that will help you hear to those whispers.

You will discover:

  • How to hear your inner guidance

  • How to make decisions that are soul-led rather than fear-led

  • 4 questions that will help you discern between decisions that are right for you versus not right for you

Resources

Make sure you get the PDF Worksheets & Audio Guide to get the most out of this! The PDF will walk you through the 4 questions and the Audio Guide will help you create your body compass

.

Work With Me

If you're ready to stop staying stuck tight in a bud, schedule a call with me.

I know what it’s like to know that you’re meant for something bigger but feel stuck in getting there! Coaching can help you discover the fullest version of yourself and confidently step into the life that you know you're meant for.

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Episode 209: How She Got There - Trauma Researcher & Yoga Teacher with Dr. Megan Kirk Chang

 
 
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“Everything you need to heal is already within you. You do not need to seek outside validation. The key to your healing is being able to return to believing in yourself.”

Learn how to do more of what you love by listening to stories from other yoga teachers, healers, and coaches about how they first got started.

Discover what they did to first make money, how they actually got started, and how they overcame their struggles like fear and burnout along the way.

Today we hear from trauma researcher & yoga teacher , Dr. Megan Kirk Chang, who you heard from in Ep 208: What Is Trauma and What Does It Mean To Be Trauma-Informed? .

I loved how authentically Megan shared about her experience in doing what called out to her. Her story showcases that doing what you love can still have hard parts, but it’s a different kind of hard than when you’re headed in the wrong direction. I used to think that once you figure out what you love doing (or as I used to refer to it as figuring out your “purpose” (so much to say about that but I’ll save it for a daily inspiration episode)) then a big rainbow lights up the whole sky and I would skip into a beautiful sunset, never having to experience a hard part again.

Sort of…and also not really at all! You’re no longer swimming against the current but now you’re being stretched in a different way so that you can grow. Megan’s examples of how the trauma research program she was in was so hard that she wanted quit and how she had to choose to listen to herself than societal norms are examples of these hard parts that help us grow.

Listen to discover:

  • How a major experience in Megan’s life showed her what kind of work she wanted to do in the world

  • Example of what it looks like when what you really want goes against societal norms and how to choose the inner voice instead of the “should”

  • Ideas for how to get through the hard parts

About Dr. Megan Kirk Chang

Dr. Megan Kirk Chang is a clinician scientists in the field of clinical mental health. Her intervention-based research explores the impact of mindfulness-based programs on cultivating resilience and growth after extreme exposure to stress, burnout, or trauma. Megan's work blends cognitive neuroscience, trauma-informed yoga and meditation, and empowerment coaching to help organizations and survivors reclaim their mind-body connection, return to a sense of aliveness, heal their nervous system, and release limiting beliefs. Megan recently graduated with her PhD from York University where she launched the first registered clinical trial in Canada to investigate an integrated CBT, Mindfulness and Yoga intervention for young adults with PTSD and used new wearable health technologies to capture the changes in autonomic function during mindfulness.

Healing For Others What We’ve Healed Within Ourselves

Megan’s story teaches us that when we take a heart-centered approach, we can find our life’s purpose. The seeds of Megan’s current path were planted long ago and came to fruition when she realized her calling: helping people with what she herself had struggled with.

Megan’s childhood trauma and her husband’s terrible accident caused her to experience trauma which eventually led to a self-healing journey. With this knowledge and passion, she found her life’s purpose in helping people with what she’s had to struggle with.

See below for more key nuggets and takeaways.

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Key Nuggets: Doing What You’re Meant To Do

 1. What is your calling right now? [05:10]

I’m in a new season as Dr. Megan Kirk Chang. I love bringing voice to topics that make people uncomfortable. My calling is in advocacy speaking and bringing voice to issues and populations that typically get overlooked.

2. What was life before you started learning and speaking about trauma? [07:00] 

I was working at a secure, permanent, with benefits, hospital job when my then-fiancee was injured at a football match. We rushed him to the hospital, where he needed emergency spinal cord surgery.

The experience fundamentally altered the way we do life, and it’s the reason I do the work I do. Even though I didn’t witness the event, I was really struggling with symptoms such as intrusive thoughts. I realized it had actually retriggered a childhood trauma. This experience made me want to learn more about trauma and trauma-informed care.

4. Did you have a formal plan or idea for how long you’d do this? [13:40]

Not really. I quit my job and was accepted into the Ph. D. program at York University with a clinical psychologist. In collaboration with him, I eventually started to work with young adults struggling with PTSD. Through that, I found my own healing. 

My research showed me the resilience and growth of every single person were palpable. Trauma and PTSD shouldn’t always be seen as a deficit. There’s so much growth and passion that our hardships can lead us towards.

5. What was one time when you really wanted to quit? What helped you keep going? [17:45]

As much as I’m on the other end now and I’m elated, it was grueling, exhausting, and emotionally taxing work. Learning how to navigate that and the complexities of being a student was challenging. There were lots of days I didn’t think I could finish. What helped me was not to look six months down the road but ask myself, what can I do today?

7. What’s the best thing you did that helped you create this life? [20:15]

Not listening to societal norms or pressures. Connecting to the inner nudge that said it’s ok to quit your stable job. The best thing I’ve done is spend time getting to know myself and find what matters. 

10. What do you do to check back and make sure that this is still the path for you (i.e., that helps you decide that this is all worth it? [22:30]

I have a very consistent mindfulness practice, such as yoga and walks in nature. It didn’t naturally fall in my lap, and it still ebbs and flows, but what helps me check back is telling myself I’m worth my own investment. The moment I stop giving myself permission to connect is usually when things start to spiral.

11. What has been one of your biggest lessons so far? [23:50]

I’m worthy of experiencing joy and allowing myself to enjoy this life. Even in the midst of feeling unresolved in my healing or in the midst of struggle, I don’t have to wait until the struggle is clear to start living. I can find joy today.

12. What is one nugget of wisdom that you would share with fellow seekers who are also on this journey of growth and transformation?

Everything you need to heal is already within you. You do not need to seek outside validation. The key to your healing is being able to return to believing in yourself.

11. What is a book, podcast, person, or teacher you would recommend? [22:30]

Sarah Blondin on Insight Timer and her book Heart Minded: How to Hold Yourself and Others in Love.

Her being and her essence have just been a game-changer for me.

Resources:

  1. Sarah Blondin on Insight Timer

  2. Book: Heart Minded: How to Hold Yourself and Others in Love

CONNECT WITH MEGAN:

Website: www.healmytraumaimprint.com

Instagram: @drkirkchang

Email: info@healmytraumaimprint.com

Quotes:

“Through that, I found my own healing. It was the most incredible, heartwrenching, rewarding five and a half years of research that I did.” - Megan [12:08]

“Trauma and PTSD shouldn’t always be seen as a deficit. There’s so much growth and passion that our hardships can lead us towards.” - Megan [16:43]

“Let’s not look six months down the road, but what can I do today?”- Megan [18:33]

“The best thing I’ve done is really spend time to get to know myself.” - Megan [21:20]

“What helps me check back is telling myself I’m worth my own investment.” - Megan [22:03]

“I don’t have to wait until the struggle is clear to start living. I can find joy today.” - Megan [24:25]

 “The key to your healing is being able to return to believing in yourself.” - Megan [25:10]


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Episode 208: What Is Trauma and What Does It Mean To Be Trauma-Informed? With Dr. Megan Kirk Chang

 
 
Megan Kirk.jpg

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Learning about our own traumatic experiences helps us recognize behavioral or emotional patterns that we resort to in order to protect ourselves. This lets us turn down the volume of our inner critic and understand how our experiences shape who we are today.

If you’re a yoga teacher, massage therapist, coach, manager or somebody whose job it is to hold space for others, it’s important that you listen to this episode!

Today, we discuss what being trauma-informed really means with mental healthy clinician scientist, Dr. Megan Kirk Chang.

It’s important to have a trauma-informed approach because it helps you better hold space for others. We’ve all been through hardships and you don’t know who is still experiencing trauma. Rather than avoid or hope that everybody is fine, there are some easy things that you can do to be more inclusive.

Listen in to discover:

  • What happens in your body when you experience a trauma (regardless of how big or small you judge the incident to be)

  • What it means to be a trauma informed practitioner and examples of how to hold trauma-informed space

  • A deeper look into what your physiology does to protect you and how that response, if strong enough, affects you moving forward

  • We nerd out a little and take a dive into some different parts of the nervous system

  • How to soothe yourself via the nervous system when you’re feeling unsafe in a safe environment

If you want to learn more about how experiences like trauma, shape your life today, also listen to Understanding Emotional Trauma And How To Heal It with Linda Thai

About Megan Kirk Chang

Dr. Megan Kirk Chang is a clinician scientist in the field of clinical mental health. Her intervention-based research explores the impact of mindfulness-based programs on cultivating resilience and growth after extreme exposure to stress, burnout, or trauma. Megan's work blends cognitive neuroscience, trauma-informed yoga and meditation, and empowerment coaching to help organizations and survivors reclaim their mind-body connection, return to a sense of aliveness, heal their nervous system, and release limiting beliefs. Megan recently graduated with her PhD from York University where she launched the first registered clinical trial in Canada to investigate an integrated CBT, Mindfulness and Yoga intervention for young adults with PTSD and used new wearable health technologies to capture the changes in autonomic function during mindfulness.

Examining Trauma as a Universal Human Experience

Learning about our own traumatic experiences helps us recognize behavioral or emotional patterns that we resort to in order to protect ourselves. This lets us turn down the volume of our inner critic and understand how our experiences shape who we are today. Megan looks trauma through the lens of physiology which means that Instead of subjectively rating traumatic events, she focuses on the universal human experience of these events (e.g., shock traumas or repetitive exposures to trauma). Learn more at [06:00].

How Our Bodies Respond to Stress and Trauma 

At [12:45], Megan examines how trauma and daily stressors impact our autonomic nervous system without us even being aware of it. Our sympathetic nervous system (the flight, fight or freeze part of our autonomic nervous system) mobilizes to meet that stressor’s (anything that stresses us out - tiger or angry boss… our body can’t discern the difference) demand (e.g., our heart rate increases, our pupils dilate,…).

When the threat or stressor is removed, our parasympathetic system (rest and digest part of the autonomic nervous system) returns us to homeostasis. Our heart rate returns to normal.

Problems arise when the stimulus is so shocking or repetitive that our capacity to digest these events become increasingly challenging and alters our physiology. We might get stuck oscillating between two states: hypervigilance and dissociation. Both states aren’t ideal as it takes us away from feeling peaceful. Listen at [12:45] for more. 

Understanding Our Physiology - How It Helps Us Survive (trauma response) and How To Soothe It

Megan’s mission in life is to help people understand that their nervous system is doing what it needs to do to keep them surviving. In a stressful or shocking moment, it perceives your environment as unsafe, altering your physiology, and moving into a state of hypervigilance or dissociation.

This state of dissociation is the sensation of feeling separate from your body or zoned out. This state can be examined further by looking at the dorsal vagal complex; this nerve shuts down the body as a defense strategy to avoid psychological or bodily harm. It’s important to understand that this response isn’t a choice. It’s important to understand because we might judge ourselves for not “responding better”. When you understand that it’s the body’s automatic response to help save you, it helps drop the self-judgement and instead allow you to approach yourself with much more compassion. Tune in at [16:00] for more on physiological trauma responses.

Down-Regulation and Up-Regulation Strategies

The ventral vagal nerve relates to our social engagement and safety state. When we’re not in ventral vagal safety, we can’t pick up on social cues as much because we’re in survival mode or a dissociative state. Reconnecting to our sense of security can be achieved through different strategies but which strategy to use largely depends on each individual’s experienced trauma. Some examples are:

  • Laying a hand to your heart

  • Singing

  • Deep breathing

  • Rocking

  • Dancing

  • Progressive Muscle Relaxation

  • Gardening

For more of these strategies, go to [23:00].

Reframing Healing as a Life-Long Journey

At [33:40], we recommend unlearning the conventional use of the word “fix” and instead reframe healing as a continuous, life-long, and self-healing journey.

It’s exhausting (and might not even be possible) to find an end-all solution or anticipate all triggers for trauma. Embracing it as a journey helps us remove self-judgment rather than rushing to fix everything. Megan shows us that there’s power in the pause and stillness. By not overdoing it and taking well-earned breaks, we can create a balance of healing and living. 

It’s also essential to emphasize putting the onus, or the responsibility, on society and institutions. The continuing marginalization of certain groups, and the privilege of others, play a significant role in trauma and trauma recovery. Listen at [33:40] for more.

**Trauma-Informed Care as a Wellness Practitioner**

This part is so important for everyone to understand especially if your work involves holding space for others (yoga teacher, coach, massage therapist, employer…).

The trauma-informed approach is not a certification of completion but rather a way of living. 

Megan suggests Hopper and colleagues’ definition of trauma-informed care, which defines it as a strength-based service delivery approach emphasizing safety and agency. As wellness practitioners, we can practice trauma-informed care with our clients and students by creating a safe and collaborative space.

It’s important to have a trauma-informed approach because it helps us, especially wellness practitioners, better hold space for others. We’ve all been through hardships and you don’t know who is still experiencing trauma. Rather than avoid or hope that everybody is fine, there are some easy things that you can do to be more inclusive.

For example, as yoga instructors, we can be mindful of where we place yoga students (ie. not backing them against a wall) or how we teach (ie. cue and teach from a place of invitation or suggestion rather than a demand). As employers, especially after the trauma some may have experienced due to the pandemic, checking in with employees with a simple “how are you?” is effective. If possible, offer a gradual transition back to the work place. Tune in at [46:30] for more insights into trauma-informed care.

Trauma Has No Hierarchy and No Boundaries

Megan shares that the conventional or mainstream definition of trauma is too rigid and narrow. As a result it excludes many different types of trauma. This means that many of us might have not admitted to (or realized) having experienced trauma. In contrast, being trauma-informed means that we assume everyone has protective survival mechanisms that we try to accommodate for. It opens up a dialogue for learning and growth. But note that it doesn’t mean we will be perfect (or have to be perfect) at it. Megan also highlights that managers, wellness practitioners, school educators, basically anyone and everyone, can use this approach to create a trusting and supportive space. Go to [55:00] for more!

KEY NUGGETS:

[06:00] Examining Trauma as a Universal Human Experience

[12:45] How Our Bodies Respond to Stress and Trauma

[16:00] Understanding Our Physiology - How It Helps Us Survive (trauma response) and How To Soothe It

[23:00] Down-Regulation and Up-Regulation Strategies

[33:40] Reframing Healing as a Life-Long Journey

[46:30] Trauma-Informed Care as a Wellness Practitioner

[55:00] Trauma Has No Hierarchy and No Boundaries

RESOURCES:

  • Trusting the Gold: Uncovering Your Natural Goodness by Tara Brach, Ph.D.

  • Somatic Experiencing method developed by Peter Levine, Ph. D.

  • Hopper, E. K., Bassuk, E. L., and Olivet, J. (2010). Shelter from the storm: Trauma-informed care in homeless service settings. The Open Health Services and Policy Journal, 3, 80-100

Connect with Megan:

Website: www.healmytraumaimprint.com

Instagram: @drkirkchang

Email: info@healmytraumaimprint.com

QUOTES:

“The impact of a traumatic stimulus completely alters our nervous system physiology.” - Megan [14:45]

“This journey of healing is not something we cross a finish line with . . . but rather we get to have the privilege of walking along this healing journey for our lives.” - Megan [36:30]

“There’s power in the pause, and power in the stillness.” - Megan [45:35]

“Trauma-informed really is about giving choice back to the survivor in ways that empower them.” - Megan [48:25]

“Everyone has experienced some form of hardship . . . let’s just assume that we all have our own protective survival mechanisms.” - Megan [56:00]

“[Trauma-informed is] recognizing where the discomfort might be.” - Megan [1:03:18]

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Episode 207: Inspiration To Overcome Imposter Syndrome And Re-Align With Soul (Daily Inspiration)

 

There's something amazing that you're meant to share and the world needs your light! You probably feel the calling too (at least on some level) which is what compelled you to reach for "something more" or "something bigger" in the first place.

Most times this calling stokes the fire that keeps you going for your heartfelt pursuit.

It’s the guiding force that lights you up with inspiring ideas, opens your heart to possibility, and breathes in you the confidence to make the call, make the ask and trust in your worth (even if it’s hella scary to do so!).

Sometimes fear becomes the louder than the calling and the voice that takes over is what's referred to as "imposter syndrome". 

Imposter syndrome is a discouraging voice that says things like

"who am I to do this?"

"I don't have enough____ (money, education, experience...)"

"This won't work for me"

It questions your worthiness and causes you to doubt the path that you’re taking.

Who experiences Imposter Syndrome?

Basically anybody who’s ever pursued something heartfelt whether it be asking the guy/girl out, having a baby, starting a business, owning the calling to help others as a healer, lightworker, yoga teacher, coach…

How to deal with Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is a mindset issue. There’s something that we’re believing about our situation or ourselves that’s giving it fuel.

Ex. “I’ve never succeeded in anything in my life, why would I succeed now?”

Ex. “I’m a big ‘ol ball of mess, how can I possibly help other people?”

Ex. “I don’t have my 10000000000 hour teacher training - I’m not a good enough teacher yet. Why would any studio or festival want me to teach for them?”

We’re disconnected from the truth within ourselves. We’re disconnected from our calling.

This episode is for those times when imposter syndrome got the best of you. 

It’s inspiration to help you go “oh yea!” and re-align to what lights you up. It’s a reminder of what’s true to you. Imposter Syndrome cannot survive in truth. Let the soul calling be the thing that guides you once again.

Work With Me

I would be honored to help you re-align with your soul calling so that you can bravely step into the life that you were meant for. Schedule a complimentary coaching session with me.

Coaching helps you create a stronger sense of inner connection so that you can remember how amazing you are more often than not. As a result, you’ll step into the fullest version of yourself and have the confidence to live the life that you know you're meant for.

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Episode 206: Connect To Your True Nature With This Story (Daily Inspiration)

 

One of my favorite stories that brings me back to my sense of truth and inner connection is about a Golden Buddha. I first heard it from my favorite meditation teacher, Tara Brach and I come back to it often because far too often we lose our sense of self in our day-to-day.

We've become so accustomed to putting on different masks depending on

  • where we are (at home vs. in the office)

  • who we're with (family vs. friends vs. different groups of friends)

  • or what we're trying to get (validation, power, love...)

eventually we accidentally misidentify with these masks. I had so many masks that at one point I felt like nothing but a fragment of myself when I was with other people.

Yes, we brilliantly created these masks in the first place to get through difficulties, or hardships. There might have been a genuine time where we needed to only show our smiles but not our frowns, be polite no matter how we’re being treated, keep our wants/needs to ourselves etc.

These behaviors might have resulted in the love, validation or caretaking that we required to survive.

But the truth is, these masks are no longer needed. The journey from hereon out is to remove each mask, peel off the layers that aren’t truth and stand boldly in our light (or in this case I should say gold - you’ll get it once you listen to the episode).

As the popular quote goes

“Yoga (feel free to replace with “life”) is the journey of the self, through the self, to the self”

The story that I share with you in this episode will help you recognize and reconnect to the beautiful, vulnerable and whole self of who you truly are.

“Our suffering comes when we identify with our protective covering and forget the loving awareness that’s intrinsic to our being” - Tara Brach, Radical Compassion

I hope this episode inspires you to take a moment to come back to your inner connection.

Namaste

Work With Me

If you're ready to stop staying stuck tight in a bud, schedule a call with me.

I know what it’s like to know that you’re meant for something bigger but feel stuck in getting there! Coaching can help you discover the fullest version of yourself and confidently step into the life that you know you're meant for.

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Episode 205: How She Got There - Yoga Teacher, Online Yoga Business & Podcast Host with Kelly Smith

 
 
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Learn how to live your purpose and do more of what you love by listening to stories from other yoga teachers, healers, and coaches about how they first got started.

Discover what they did to first make money, how they actually got started, and how they overcame their struggles like fear and burnout along the way.

Today we hear from meditation & yoga teacher and host of the Mindfulness In Minutes Podcast, Kelly Smith, who you heard from in Ep 202: 3 Ways To Discover Your True Self.

One of my favorite things about Kelly’s story is how there were many points in her journey where she started from scratch because she was either revamping her entire direction (ex. sold brick and mortar studio to pursue online) or a new identity (ex. becoming a mother). Her story lends great advice and inspiration for how we can also embrace the changes in our lives and move in a direction of better things (versus the usual fear that giving up something will leave us worse off).

Listen to discover:

  • How to embrace the detours on your journey

  • What Kelly did to fill up her schedule with yoga classes

  • Kelly’s advice on change, quitting and pivoting your direction

About Kelly Smith

Kelly Smith is an E-RYT 500, YACEP, founder of Yoga For You, and host of the iTunes chart topping podcasts, Mindful in Minutes and Meditation Mama. Kelly believes that there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to yoga and meditation and encourages her students to find their own personal practice, listen to their bodies, and find inner joy by accessing their most authentic selves. Kelly is best known for her master trainings in meditation, Yoga nNidra, and restorative yoga and unique guided meditations.

Embrace The Detours On Your Journey 

Kelly teaches us that we’re all living, breathing, and growing human beings whose journeys are ever-changing and ever-evolving. Although some decisions we make and paths we walk on won’t be effortless, we should embrace the inevitable changes and detours. 

Kelly herself has gone through many iterations of her career. She began her career in management but as her life and circumstances changed, she decided to follow her intuition and start teaching yoga. Inspired by her students, Kelly then shifted her focus and started looking at the softer sides of yoga such as meditation, restorative yoga, and yoga nidra.

She continues to evolve today as she embraces motherhood and brings motherhood, pregnancy, and postnatal journeys into her work.

As we all move along our self-discovery and growth journeys, our motivations and life’s purpose may also evolve. By embracing these changes instead of fearing them, you’ll be able to enjoy the ride! 

See below for more key nuggets and takeaways.

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Key Nuggets: Doing What You’re Meant To Do

 1. What is your calling right now? [09:25]

Right now, my life’s purpose is to ease into being a mother and accept this new season of my life. In addition, my purpose is to awaken people to start their own journeys to find joy and connect to their true selves. 

 2. What was that moment like when you decided to go all in and fully committed to doing what you’re meant to? [11:30] 

It was when I decided to leave my job in management and follow my husband across the country. It was like the universe was giving me a clean slate. I was kind of depressed at first as I didn’t know anyone, and it was just my dog and me. That’s when I decided to go all-in and start teaching yoga full-time. At first, I had to beg to teach one class a week, but it slowly evolved into having a completely full schedule and opening up my own studio. 

3. What was one of the best things you did that eventually made your schedule fill up? [14:25]

In the beginning, I never said no to anything, but in hindsight, I wouldn’t recommend it. Although it helped my exposure, I eventually took on way too much and got super burned out. So, I recommend saying yes but also maintaining some boundaries.

On a more positive note, by reaching out to my students in an authentic way, I was able to gain a steady following and many new students. I was honest and authentic about my intentions and simply asked my students to help me spread the word.

4. Did you have a formal plan or idea for how long you’d do this? [18:00]

No, and I still don’t. Although I love being organized and thinking a few steps ahead, I’ve realized that being too strict with yourself sets you up for failure. People recommend having a flexible schedule but a consistent routine for babies and children, and I love to apply the same to my own life. 

I have a lot of consistency in terms of what I do and how I do it, but I keep quite a lot of flexibility concerning the direction and projects I take on. We’re all individuals, and that’s why our journeys and methods should also be one of a kind. We should embrace that we’re all walking our individual paths, and that’s beautiful.

5. What was one time when you really wanted to quit? What helped you keep going? [24:00]

I wanted to quit when I sold my studio. I went from having a full schedule to having nothing again. I then reminded myself that my dreams weren’t worth giving up on and that it wasn’t going to be a quit but a pivot.

6. What’s your biggest resistance? and how do you respond to it? [24:30]

Right now, it is learning how to balance being a mother and also running a business. Trying to fit the old me into the new life is currently holding me back the most.

7. What’s the best thing you did that helped you create this life? [25:45]

I just did what made me happy. If it didn’t feel right and wasn’t in alignment with my authentic self, I stopped doing those things and started doing the things that felt nourishing. It was as simple as that. 

8. Top tangible action/tool that you’d recommend? [26:20]

I recommend spending time getting to know your soul and ask it what you’re meant to do. It can truly be that simplistic. 

9. Top advice that can help with mindset? [26:50]

Be honest with yourself and look at where you’re getting in your own way. Then start doing things to remove that. Try to stop doing those self-sabotaging things.

10. What do you do to check back and make sure that this is still the path for you (i.e., that helps you decide that this is all worth it? [27:30]

I make sure I still feel good after I do something, for example, after I teach a class or write a mediation I ask myself if it feels uplifting. If it doesn’t feel good, then it’s not in alignment with my authentic self, and I try to stop doing those things.

11. What is a book, podcast, person, or teacher you would recommend? [28:10]

The first is The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele. 

I would also recommend any guided yoga nidra practice. You can find yoga nidra practices on my podcast [insert a hyperlink to a specific episode] but also on Youtube, Headspace, or Insight Timer, such as Tanis Fischman’s sessions.

Resources:

  1. Kelly recommends trying Yoga Nidra to get more in tune with your inner self. She suggested Insight timer, Headspace or more specifically:

    a. Check out her podcast for Yoga Nidra practices: Mindful in Minutes

    b. I also recommend Tanis Fischman’s Yoga Nidra sessions on Insight Timer. She has amazing Yoga Nidra sessions. You can also listen to Tanis teach about how yoga nidra works by listening to Ep 20.

  2. The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele

CONNECT WITH KELLY:

Website: www.yogaforyouonline.com 

Instagram: @yogaforyouonline

Kelly’s podcast for guided meditations: Mindful in Minutes 

Kelly’s podcast on pregnancy and postnatal journeys: Meditation Mama 

Quotes:

“It’s important to recognize that you [and your journey] are this living, breathing, growing thing.” - Kelly [06:57]

“What you may want to do may change over time.” - Kelly [07:20]

“I reminded myself that my dreams are not worth giving up on and that it wasn’t going to be a quit but a pivot.” - Kelly [24:20] 

“We’re all individuals, and that’s why our journeys and methods should also be one of a kind. We should embrace that we’re all walking our individual paths, and that’s beautiful.” - Kelly


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Episode 204: Become The Fullest Version Of Yourself (Daily Inspiration)

 

Hello beautiful human, you’re amazing!

If you’ve landed on this page, this is probably the reminder that you needed to hear right now (take it as a sign from the universe).

I know what it’s like to feel like you’re trying SO hard all of the time. It can feel exhausting, tiresome and frustrating.

When we put too much pressure on ourselves (to do more, be more, get '“there” faster), we tend to lose sight of how far we’ve already come and how amazing we already are.

Here’s inspiration to stop staying small, play all out and burst into the fullest version of yourself!  Whatever your heart's calling out for, you got this!  You can do this!  Listen to this episode so that you remember this for yourself too.

Work With Me

Let's get you some coaching so that you can stop staying stuck tight in a bud.

Coaching helps you create a stronger sense of inner connection so that you can remember how amazing you are more often than not. As a result, you’ll step into the fullest version of yourself and have the confidence to live the life that you know you're meant for.

Schedule a complimentary discovery coaching session with me

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Episode 203: Take A Damn Break! The Best Way To Rest So That You Can Be More Productive

 

Achieving your goals takes focus but when you hold on too tightly it actually ruins your progress.  Instead of taking a step forward, you fall a few steps back.

You increase your risk of burnout and exhaustion.

A few signs that indicate you're holding on too tightly to what you want to achieve:

- you’ve developed tunnel vision and the goal has taken over your mind 24/7 (not in a good way)

- you have a death grip on what you want to achieve (ex. ruminations of how it has to happen; excessive fear of what can go wrong if you don’t achieve it)

- you’re feeling crazy self-pressure like as if you're going to implode any moment

Don't let overattachment hold you back.  In today's episode you’ll learn:

- What it looks like to hold onto a goal too tightly

- How to let go

- One of the best ways to take a break and REST.  (Not relax or do something else, but for real REST where you actually feel rejuvenated and energized)

Work With Me

If you're ready to stop staying stuck tight in a bud, let's get you some coaching.

As a result of coaching with me, aspiring individuals expand into the fullest version of themselves and have the confidence to live the life of "something more" that they know they're meant for.

Schedule a complimentary discovery coaching session with me

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Episode 202: 3 Ways To Discover Your True Self with Kelly Smith

 
 
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““Once you get a taste for that truth and living from that deepest, most authentic part of you, that’s where that unconditional joy gets unlocked.” - Kelly Smith

We arrive in this world perfectly whole and enough… then somewhere along the way, many of us come across the notion that perhaps we’re not good enough as we are. In the name of survival, belonging, or fitting in, we get the idea that we need to embellish ourselves to be accepted. We put on shiny masks of charming smiles or the perfect temperament; or we try on tough scary masks like rebellion or a badass honey-badger-don’t-care attitude.

These masks might have been useful at one point, keeping us safe and protected when we were most vulnerable. But when we wear them for too long, we lose connection with our true selves. The masks begin to feel empty, unfulfilled…fake.

There’s a yearning to reconnect to who we really are.

Yup… been down that ride! We can call that the journey of self-discovery or self-growth.

Today’s guest, meditation & yoga teacher, and host of the Mindful In Minutes podcast, Kelly Smith, also knows this story quite well! Growing up in the 90s, she found herself giving up her “weird” (at the time) interest of yoga and pretending to like thing that the other kids liked so that she could fit in. The journey has been coming back to what her heart called for, regardless of what other people said.

In this episode we talk all about how to come back home to who you really are.

Listen in to discover:

  • What it means to live as your authentic self

  • How to find your true self

  • How to reconnect with who you really are

  • How to stop hiding behind facades and masks and begin showing up more genuinely you

About Kelly Smith

Kelly Smith is an E-RYT 500, YACEP, founder of Yoga For You, and host of the iTunes chart topping podcasts, Mindful in Minutes and Meditation Mama. Kelly believes that there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to yoga and meditation and encourages her students to find their own personal practice, listen to their bodies, and find inner joy by accessing their most authentic selves. Kelly is best known for her master trainings in meditation, Yoga nNidra, and restorative yoga and unique guided meditations.

What it means to live from a space of true self

When we come into this world, we show the world our true selves, unmasked and unfiltered. Through different experiences, we learn to hide parts of our true selves. We do this to fit in or survive, not realizing that our authentic selves are already good enough. This mental struggle definitely affects us as it often results in not living our purpose or following our passions. Kelly explains that we can slowly uncover and learn to access these deep parts of ourselves by building bridges between our inner and outer selves. Learn more at [06:20]. 

Why we hide our authentic selves

At [10:45], Kelly shares her personal reasons for hiding her true self and how she is learning to embrace her life's purpose today. During middle school, she didn't feel comfortable sharing her ADHD diagnosis or her non-mainstream interests, such as yoga and meditation. Because she wanted to fit in, Kelly changed her behavior and showed a different version of herself to the outside world. In the process, she lost track of herself. By peeling off the layers and taking down walls, she was able to reconnect to her inner self and ultimately live a fulfilled and authentic life.

Reconnect with your inner self

Which version of yourself do you show to your colleagues? Your friends? Your clients? When we reflect on which parts of ourselves we're hiding, we realize that we wear different masks in different environments. We also might feel obligated to follow the typical or "natural" progression of life (college, marriage, career, kids…); even though deep inside, we may yearn for something else or to act differently. Hiding our passions, ideal job, or partner might make us feel safer for a while but it’ll end up feeling like something's missing. Tune in at [20:00] to hear more about our personal experiences.

How to persevere when confronted with negativity

We often fear the rejection or judgment of those closest to us: whether it's a best friend, a parent, or a sibling. We fear their rejection because we respect their opinion and want their approval. However, only through perseverance and commitment to our journeys of self-discovery will we ever feel truly fulfilled. We need to realize that a family member's rejection of our journey is a reflection of their journey, their lack of understanding, or their pain and fear. Go to [28:00] to learn more about committing to a journey of self-discovery.

3 Tools to Reconnect to Your Authentic Self

  1. Meditation [46:50]

Take the time to reconnect with your inner self through regular mediation. By letting the external world fall away, you’ll be able to open up a dialogue with your true self. Give yourself space and time to ask your inner self questions.

2. Soul Writing [48:45]

Prepare some questions you’d like to ask your inner self; it’s best to start with simple ones for your first session. After a meditation such as a Yoga Nidra session, answer these questions but try not to think and instead write without restraint. 

3. Awareness - observation [49:45]

Finally, start observing where you come alive and where you don’t. Reflect on which people bring out your authentic self. Then begin to add more of your true self and take away the less authentic parts.

One of the biggest lessons Kelly has learned along the way...

“Always follow your intuition and true self. Trust that voice inside of you, and walk your own path without fear.”

A nugget of wisdom to share with fellow seekers on this journey of growth and transformation…

“You can't please everyone and sometimes you just won't be someone's cup of tea, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.”

KEY NUGGETS:

[06:20] What it means to live from a space of true self

[10:45] Why we hide our authentic selves

[20:00] Reconnect with your inner self

[28:00] How to persevere when confronted with negativity

[46:20] 3 Tools to Reconnect to Your Authentic Self:

[46:50] 1) Meditation 

[48:45] 2) Soul Writing 

[49:45] 3) Awareness - Observation

RESOURCES:

  • The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele

Connect with Kelly:

Website: www.yogaforyouonline.com 

Instagram: @yogaforyouonline

Kelly’s podcast for guided meditations: Mindful in Minutes 

Kelly’s podcast on pregnancy and postnatal journeys: Meditation Mama 


QUOTES:

“Living as your true self means being connected to your soul.” - Kelly [07:00]

“You’re trying to build a bridge between the you that you show the world and the true you that resides within.” - Kelly [07:50]

“If you’re taking your own true self-journey, not everyone is going to be your cheerleader” - Kelly [34:42]

“I always try to look for the learning in things ”. - Kelly [38:43]

“Once you get a taste for that truth and living from that deepest, most authentic part of you, that’s where that unconditional joy gets unlocked.” - Kelly [43:18]

“Try to add more of true self in your life, and take away less authentic self in your life.” - Kelly [50:20]


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Episode 201: How She Got There - From Vietnam Refugee Exodus to Somatic and Trauma Therapist w/ Linda Thai

 
 
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This isn’t a typical episode because today’s guest, Linda Thai, did not give a typical answer.

The usual question and answer format of this How She Got There episode was derailed right from question one, and that’s a fantastic thing because what ended up surfacing was much better than what I could’ve planned

Somatic and Trauma Therapist, Linda Thai, from Ep. 199: Why Are You Like This? Understanding Emotional Trauma and How To Heal From It, shares with us how her and family survived post-war Vietnam’s refugee exodus.

Although only 2 years old at the time, the experience of fleeing her home country had a significant impact on Linda’s life.

“You don’t remember the trauma but you exhibit the symptoms” Linda explains.

She expertly weaves an understanding of trauma as she tells the story of her and her family’s harrowing journey.

I was touched by her story not only because it’s so similar to the story of what my family went through, but also because it’s an excellent example of Rumi’s quote “The wound is where the light enters”.

All of the experiences that you’ve had , even the bad ones (or probably more accurate to say especially the bad ones), point you closer and closer to the work that will light you up. We tend to help others heal what we’ve healed in our own lives.

What might that be for you?

Listen to discover:

  • How Linda’s experience of being a Vietnam War refugee shaped who she is and the work that she does today

About Linda Thai

Linda is an adjunct faculty member in the Social Work Department at the University of Alaska Fairbanks and specializes in trauma-informed care and compassion fatigue resilience skills; Mental health clinician at ND Systems, specializing in somatic therapies and trauma therapy.

She assists internationally renowned psychiatrist and trauma expert, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, with his private small group psychotherapy workshops aimed at healing attachment trauma. In her work at Fairbanks Memorial Hospital, she is responsible for training clinicians in all departments, including psychology, nursing and medicine. She has a Master of Social Work with an emphasis on the neurobiology of attachment and trauma.

Linda has studied Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Brainspotting, Havening, Internal Family Systems, and structural dissociation of the personality. Linda has worked in Fairbanks, AK with those recovering from addiction, trauma, and mental illness. She is passionate about yoga, meditation, and mindfulness and bringing those gifts to her community.

Live Your Purpose By Breaking From The Norms

At [7:10], Linda deconstructs our traditional idea of what our life’s purpose should be. Her opinion is that society sells us the myth that productivity equals self-worth and that we need to achieve something to be worthy. Linda believes that we need to realize that we’re here to live, to listen to each other, and to listen to the calling within us, whatever that may be. There’s so much peace and joy in being your true self by not letting society define who you can or cannot be.

I lovvvved Linda’s answer and her free-spirited answer took us into a beautiful and powerfully moving story that we never would’ve gotten to had I followed the script…

Childhood Trauma That Led To Self-Discovery

Linda shares her remarkable childhood story - the distress she and her family went through while escaping from the Vietnam war, and surviving the refugee camp. These experiences ultimately contributed to the space that she has chosen for herself in the meditation and yoga world. To learn more about her childhood and her captivating intuitions, go to [14:30].

Detaching From Internalized Expectations

At [24:40], Linda shares how she learned about her own adaptive strategies and how she deals with them. She realized that one of her adaptive strategies was to get out of situations that made her feel trapped or out of control. This eventually led her to move to Alaska to do conservation work with disadvantaged teenagers. Here she was able to detach herself from the middle-class aspirations her parents wanted for her and ultimately, was able to find her capacity for connection. 

Finding Your Rightful Spot in Life

While at a yoga retreat, Linda again realized her primary adaptive strategy was to leave and if that wasn’t possible, she broke rules as a way of exerting her freedom. Experiences such as the yoga retreat helped her relate to herself in a different context as well as reflect on her adaptive strategies. This retreat then led her on the path of meditation, yoga teacher training, a search for community, and many more moments of reflection and realization. To learn more go to [29:00].

Linda’s Work in Collaborative Communities

Linda concludes her story by telling us about her work with Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of Your Body Keeps The Score, where she assists in private psychotherapy workshops. She highlights the importance of collaboration and education as the tools and resources we gain throughout our lives open up the world to us; we learn to be prepared for any upcoming experiences. She urges everyone to be mindful of adaptive strategies, attempt to resolve our trauma history, and continue to learn. Tune in at [40:00].

KEY NUGGETS:

[07:10] Live Your Purpose by Breaking from the Norms

[14:30] Childhood Trauma That Led To Self-Discovery

[24:40] Detaching From Internalized Expectations

[29:00] Finding Your Rightful Spot in Life

[40:00] Linda’s Work in Collaborative Communities

Resources:

To learn more about intergenerational trauma and grief, enroll in Linda’s program Unnameable Losses: The Unmetabolized Ambiguous Grief of Adult Children of Refugees


CONNECT WITH LINDA:

Website: linda-thai.com

Quotes:

“You’re already magnificent as you are...Just live.” - Linda Thai [08:00]

“That is intergenerational resilience that lives in my body.” - Linda Thai [21:25]

“[Yoga] started the opening up of my nervous system and the releasing my body armory that was my survival strategies.” - Linda Thai [33:14]

“Our samskaras dance. We have a dance of strategies. ” - Linda Thai [39:26]

“When we resolve our trauma history, the world gets bigger.” - Linda Thai [42:57]

 

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Episode 200: Imposter Syndrome, Self-Worth and Behind The Scenes Of Curious Monki

 

Wow, wow, wow we made it to episode 200!!! Yaaaay!!!!

For this special episode I'll take you behind the scenes and share with you - the good, the bad and the ugly, what it was like to start Curious Monki, what it takes for me to keep going and one of the most important tools that you can implement in your life to keep you inspired and progressing.

Listen in to discover:

  • How I dealt with imposter syndrome

  • How I overcame the mental struggle of self-doubt and fear

  • What usually compels us finally take action

  • Why it's important to recognize yourself every step of the way

  • A twist on celebration - a new practice that I find more heartfelt and authentic

  • What it means to follow your inner wisdom

I hope you enjoy this episode! I’d love to hear what your proud moments are. Comment below or email me hello@curiousmonki.com!

Key Takeaways:

  • When we trek into unfamiliar territory, even if it’s something really good like learning a new skill or taking a step that’s more in alignment with who you are, there tends to be a fear part of us that tries to stop us because the unfamiliarity feels like danger.

  • Fear might stop you. It might make you feel like you’ve failed, but remember that you always have a choice to try again.

  • Small step by small step is how I went from being paralyzed by fear to making it to episode 200! Don’t try to eat the entire pie all at once. Small step by small step will take you further.

  • Your brain looks for what you tell it to look for. Focus on celebrating your wins, no matter how big or how small, and you’ll train your brain to look for progress, joy, peace, momentum…

  • Recognize how amazing you are with each small win that you achieve.

  • Taking the first step is a huge deal! It requires a boatload of courage. Even if you don’t make it to where you wanted, don’t discount the fact that you had enough in you to take the first step at all.

  • There’s a map that’s always been within you that points you to the life that you were meant to live. It doesn’t look like any other form of map that you’ve seen before - it’s not cut and dry. You’re the only one with this particular copy and to read it you need to tune into your intuition and follow your inner wisdom.

  • Practice showing up with conviction, worthiness in yourself and energy.

  • If you experience self-doubt, challenge that thought by asking Is it true? Can you 100% know that it’s true?

  • You get a lot further when you believe in your own worth.

Tune into this episode to hear more about these key takeaways!

Inspiring Quotes:

“Then came the day when it became more painful to stay tight in a bud than to blossom” - Anais Nin

““Late at night have you experienced a vision of who you might become, the work you could accomplish, the realized being you were meant to be? Are you a writer who doesn’t write, a painter who doesn’t paint, and entrepreneur who never starts a venture? Then you know what resistance is”" - Steven Pressfield

"Celebration is the key to continuing the momentum and momentum is created by celebrating victories – no matter how big or how small” - Tony Robbins

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If you're ready to stop staying stuck tight in a bud, Schedule a discovery coaching session with me

I don’t know where I’d be without coaching! It has helped learn to deal with my imposter syndrome and doubt. My coaches were pivotal in supporting me to action despite the fear! I’m honored and grateful to have the skills to be able to help guide others to do the same. Don’t wait for “one day” when you’re confident enough to live the right life. Confidence is built upon action!

Resources

I mentioned that my "stuck tight in a bud" story was told in Ep 198, but it's actually Episode 193: Overcome Mental Resistance And Get Back Into Alignment

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