““Once you get a taste for that truth and living from that deepest, most authentic part of you, that’s where that unconditional joy gets unlocked.” - Kelly Smith
We arrive in this world perfectly whole and enough… then somewhere along the way, many of us come across the notion that perhaps we’re not good enough as we are. In the name of survival, belonging, or fitting in, we get the idea that we need to embellish ourselves to be accepted. We put on shiny masks of charming smiles or the perfect temperament; or we try on tough scary masks like rebellion or a badass honey-badger-don’t-care attitude.
These masks might have been useful at one point, keeping us safe and protected when we were most vulnerable. But when we wear them for too long, we lose connection with our true selves. The masks begin to feel empty, unfulfilled…fake.
There’s a yearning to reconnect to who we really are.
Yup… been down that ride! We can call that the journey of self-discovery or self-growth.
Today’s guest, meditation & yoga teacher, and host of the Mindful In Minutes podcast, Kelly Smith, also knows this story quite well! Growing up in the 90s, she found herself giving up her “weird” (at the time) interest of yoga and pretending to like thing that the other kids liked so that she could fit in. The journey has been coming back to what her heart called for, regardless of what other people said.
In this episode we talk all about how to come back home to who you really are.
Listen in to discover:
What it means to live as your authentic self
How to find your true self
How to reconnect with who you really are
How to stop hiding behind facades and masks and begin showing up more genuinely you
About Kelly Smith
Kelly Smith is an E-RYT 500, YACEP, founder of Yoga For You, and host of the iTunes chart topping podcasts, Mindful in Minutes and Meditation Mama. Kelly believes that there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to yoga and meditation and encourages her students to find their own personal practice, listen to their bodies, and find inner joy by accessing their most authentic selves. Kelly is best known for her master trainings in meditation, Yoga nNidra, and restorative yoga and unique guided meditations.
What it means to live from a space of true self
When we come into this world, we show the world our true selves, unmasked and unfiltered. Through different experiences, we learn to hide parts of our true selves. We do this to fit in or survive, not realizing that our authentic selves are already good enough. This mental struggle definitely affects us as it often results in not living our purpose or following our passions. Kelly explains that we can slowly uncover and learn to access these deep parts of ourselves by building bridges between our inner and outer selves. Learn more at [06:20].
Why we hide our authentic selves
At [10:45], Kelly shares her personal reasons for hiding her true self and how she is learning to embrace her life's purpose today. During middle school, she didn't feel comfortable sharing her ADHD diagnosis or her non-mainstream interests, such as yoga and meditation. Because she wanted to fit in, Kelly changed her behavior and showed a different version of herself to the outside world. In the process, she lost track of herself. By peeling off the layers and taking down walls, she was able to reconnect to her inner self and ultimately live a fulfilled and authentic life.
Reconnect with your inner self
Which version of yourself do you show to your colleagues? Your friends? Your clients? When we reflect on which parts of ourselves we're hiding, we realize that we wear different masks in different environments. We also might feel obligated to follow the typical or "natural" progression of life (college, marriage, career, kids…); even though deep inside, we may yearn for something else or to act differently. Hiding our passions, ideal job, or partner might make us feel safer for a while but it’ll end up feeling like something's missing. Tune in at [20:00] to hear more about our personal experiences.
How to persevere when confronted with negativity
We often fear the rejection or judgment of those closest to us: whether it's a best friend, a parent, or a sibling. We fear their rejection because we respect their opinion and want their approval. However, only through perseverance and commitment to our journeys of self-discovery will we ever feel truly fulfilled. We need to realize that a family member's rejection of our journey is a reflection of their journey, their lack of understanding, or their pain and fear. Go to [28:00] to learn more about committing to a journey of self-discovery.
3 Tools to Reconnect to Your Authentic Self
Meditation [46:50]
Take the time to reconnect with your inner self through regular mediation. By letting the external world fall away, you’ll be able to open up a dialogue with your true self. Give yourself space and time to ask your inner self questions.
2. Soul Writing [48:45]
Prepare some questions you’d like to ask your inner self; it’s best to start with simple ones for your first session. After a meditation such as a Yoga Nidra session, answer these questions but try not to think and instead write without restraint.
3. Awareness - observation [49:45]
Finally, start observing where you come alive and where you don’t. Reflect on which people bring out your authentic self. Then begin to add more of your true self and take away the less authentic parts.
One of the biggest lessons Kelly has learned along the way...
“Always follow your intuition and true self. Trust that voice inside of you, and walk your own path without fear.”
A nugget of wisdom to share with fellow seekers on this journey of growth and transformation…
“You can't please everyone and sometimes you just won't be someone's cup of tea, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.”
KEY NUGGETS:
[06:20] What it means to live from a space of true self
[10:45] Why we hide our authentic selves
[20:00] Reconnect with your inner self
[28:00] How to persevere when confronted with negativity
[46:20] 3 Tools to Reconnect to Your Authentic Self:
[46:50] 1) Meditation
[48:45] 2) Soul Writing
[49:45] 3) Awareness - Observation
RESOURCES:
The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele
Connect with Kelly:
Website: www.yogaforyouonline.com
Instagram: @yogaforyouonline
Kelly’s podcast for guided meditations: Mindful in Minutes
Kelly’s podcast on pregnancy and postnatal journeys: Meditation Mama
QUOTES:
“Living as your true self means being connected to your soul.” - Kelly [07:00]
“You’re trying to build a bridge between the you that you show the world and the true you that resides within.” - Kelly [07:50]
“If you’re taking your own true self-journey, not everyone is going to be your cheerleader” - Kelly [34:42]
“I always try to look for the learning in things ”. - Kelly [38:43]
“Once you get a taste for that truth and living from that deepest, most authentic part of you, that’s where that unconditional joy gets unlocked.” - Kelly [43:18]
“Try to add more of true self in your life, and take away less authentic self in your life.” - Kelly [50:20]
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