Sometimes we’re one version of ourselves when we’re meditating or practicing yoga - calm, grounded, and peaceful. On the mat or the meditation cushion, you have this safe space to feel connected. and get plugged into the oneness of all that is.
Soft, compassionate and open hearted.
…and then you step off the mat or cushion….
… and back into your day to day
It’s like you are a totally different version of yourself in the midst of traffic, bosses and deadline - stressed, impatient, and the opposite of calm.
In this episode, we explore how to bridge the peaceful mindfulness of the mat/cushion and bring that into our day to day.
In other words, how can you stay intact as the calm, grounded and peaceful version of yourself even if there’s a very real deadline for work?
In my own experience, I’ve definitely felt the divide between the contemplative world and the worldly world. It felt like I was two different people and I didn’t know how to meld them together.
Alex Haley, meditation teacher and the founder of Offering Tree, takes us into a riveting conversation about how to bridge these two worlds together so that you can show up as your whole self.
His own story is that he lived in both the world of law, practicing as an attorney, and the world of mindfulness, going to meditation retreats on his own time.
Listen to learn how he bridged the world of slow paced present moment to the fast paced and often urgent world of law.
This conversation was so insightful and has already helped me be able to show up more as my true self whether I’m talking to my yoga students or the attendant at the hardware store.
Listen in to discover:
How to bring mindfulness into your day to day life (even at the office!)
The myth of mindfulness equating to slow (it doesn’t!). When you learn this, then you’ll even be able to approach something like urgent deadlines with mindfulness
How soul guides can show up in our lives
How to show up more authentically as your true self
About Alex Haley
Alex Haley (he/him) is a meditation teacher and former co-manager of a donation-based yoga studio. Alex’s work and expertise has been featured on The Big Know, MN Public Radio, Mashable.com and numerous podcasts. He is also one of the co-founders of the public benefit corporation OfferingTree, which provides an all-in-one platform for wellness professionals to build a website, manage scheduling, take payments and coordinate communication.
He completed an intensive four-year teacher training program through the Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock Meditation Center and the Insight Retreat Center. He has also been trained by the Center for Mindfulness, the Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute, and the Coaches Training Institute. In addition to his background in the yoga and meditation spaces, Alex is also trained in business, law and cognitive science.
How Disruption Can Ignite a Journey of Contemplation
Alex shares a distinctive moment with us that set him on his mindfulness path. In an unlikely environment, in a math class at his public high school, his teacher asked them all to do nothing for 2 minutes. To Alex, this was something unfamiliar and it acted as a sort of disruption, shifting and disrupting his normal. At this moment, his teacher was highlighting stillness while he was still doing, the contrast reflected back at him. To learn more about this moment and Alex’s many insightful teachers along the way, go to [09:00].
Finding Your Soul Guides
One thing I want to point out here is how normal finding our soul teachers feels - so normal that it sometimes goes unnoticed until it can be seen clearly in hindsight. In the journey of awakening to our true selves, sometimes we mistaken the experience to have to feel like something big - like as if clouds should part from the sky and unicorns come to sprinkle magic dust all over you then voila! you’re transformed.
In reality, it usually are the unassuming things like Alex’s math teacher, that grants us the big insights.
At [17:00], we hear more about the people that were monumental in helping Alex on his journey of contemplation. He highlights how a guru or a teacher can help guide us inwardly. You may not see them right now, but look around and you’ll find them in your own lives. These minor experiential moments whether with his math teacher or a course at college that piqued Alex’s interest and kept him moving in his journey.
Becoming a Bridge/Connector For Two Worlds
Alex was working as an attorney but spent all of his free time doing retreats and mindfulness studies. It always felt like there was a gap or disconnect between these two sides. He was then approached to be an interpreter for these two worlds as he was the perfect candidate to help these opposing worlds interact and communicate. He ultimately bridged the gap between these worlds not just externally, but also internally for himself. Learn more at [22:00].
Resolving Our Internal Dichotomy
While working at the law firm and spending all his free time in mindfulness studies, Alex recognized a sense of false dichotomy within himself. It was like there were two versions of himself. This became even clearer when he came back to work from an extended meditation retreat and noticed that his analytical mind was so quiet. At this inflection point, he realized that he had been approaching practice with getting a particular experience as opposed to practicing to inform how to live your everyday life. He stopped subconsciously chasing experience while integrating his mindfulness practice into all parts of his life. Tune in for more at [26:00].
How to Prioritize and Remember Yourself
At [33:00], Alex shares two ways of remembering ourselves as we often forget to prioritize and contextualize ourselves in our everyday lives. While on a practical level, remembering ourselves, might mean concentrating on self-care and mindfulness techniques; in other contexts, this may be reflecting on how we engage with our worlds. Often we forget to integrate and connect with others and our actions, such as at work or in other everyday contexts. There’s a sort of duplicity or multiplicity to our lives or mindsets that we need to recognize and learn to integrate each part.
Applying Mindfulness to Your Daily Life
Alex realized that separating his two lives and mindsets wasn’t going to work in the long run; he needed to integrate his mindfulness mindset into his daily life. The assumptions and dichotomies we set up create very limiting binaries, instead, we need to view our different modes or mindsets as a spectrum. Alex shows us how we can recognize our false assumptions and relax them, for example, we can still be mindful even when we’re in the process of analyzing something. To learn more about transformative learning and integration, go to [38:00].
How to Break the Achiever Mentality
At [58:30], Alex explains how small changes matter more than huge, instant developments. We often worry that we aren’t progressing enough or that we can’t seem to finish our to-do lists quick enough; ultimately, the small changes that happen every so often, are transformative. Renouncing this sense of urgency and breaking the habit of an achievement mindset can create even more space and potential in your life.
One of Your Biggest Lessons So Far
Small changes is what matters, not the big ones. Small changes give a sense of spaciousness and not having to expect.
It’s not about what you gain but it’s about what you let go of.
Nugget Of Wisdom
What is one nugget of wisdom that you would share with fellow seekers who are on this journey of growth and transformation?
Relationships and friendships grounded in part of the spiritual yearning is the path. It’s not just part of the path.
Key Nuggets:
[09:00] How Disruption Can Ignite a Journey of Contemplation
[17:00] Finding Your Soul Guides
[22:00] Becoming a Bridge/Connector For Two Worlds
[26:30] Resolving Our Internal Dichotomy
[33:00] How to Prioritize and Remember Yourself
[40:30] Applying Mindfulness to Our Daily Lives
[58:30] How to Break the Achiever Mentality
Resources:
Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao by Wayne Dyer
Get the complete list of resources
Connect with Alex:
Website: offeringtree.com
Quotes:
“It was a pause, the idea that there was value in being, in not doing something.” - Alex Haley [14:40]
“You have so much that you can learn from each other and so much that can be shared. There’s a need for those that can help bridge and interpret.” - Alex Haley [24:12]
“The experience isn’t that important, it’s that what you understood from the experience leads to an integration in your life.” - Alex Haley [28:57]
“It was much more about how I was doing something as opposed to what I was doing.” - Alex Haley [30:45]
“It matters to remember yourself.” - Alex Haley [31:07]
“There’s stillness in movement, and there’s movement in stillness.” - Alex Haley [35:35]
“I can still maintain a sense of inner balance . . . even when there’s a lot going on.” - Alex Haley [40:25]
“The resonance between the aspiration and the intention is what gives me the potential in the present moment.” - Alex Haley [53:00]
“Small changes . . . that just creates a sense of ease for me and spaciousness . . . of not needing to get that thing right now.” - Alex Haley [59:53]
“It’s not about what you gain, it’s about what you let go of and what no longer serves you.” - Alex Haley [1:00:25]
“My own understanding, my own awakening is intertwined and interconnected with everybody else’s.” - Alex Haley [1:05:57]
Partners:
This episode is brought to you by The Offering Tree. The Offering Tree is an easy all-in-one platform to run your business so that you don't have spend extra time trying to figure out all the tech stuff. Offering Tree let’s you build you website, scheduling calendar, class offerings, online store, email marketing, membership site and online courses all in one place!
They’re a heart centered company that truly believes in the power of community and genuinely wants to support wellness entrepreneurs to do what they’re meant to do.
The best part is that because you’re a member of the Curious Monki community, you get an awesome discount! Find out more here.
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