People reveal themselves in everything that they create, including the home that you live in. From the color of your walls to how you keep your bathroom - your living space is a reflection of your inner life.
This is a coaching episode where I'm joined by Confidence Coach, Olena Gisys. We teach you a coaching tool that you can use on yourself to access your subconscious mind and find answers to a problem that you're stuck on.
This tool is especially useful for when something feels wrong in your life but you can't pinpoint exactly what's causing the crappy feeling.
We also talk about how perfectionism holds you back, what life coaching really is, how it's helped us along our journeys.
Topic Summary:
- How can life coaching help you achieve your goals
- How do you know when you need a life coach versus a therapist?
- How perfectionism holds you back
- Tool (living space tool) to help you access your subconscious mind and find the answers that you need
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Olena and I started a new podcast together! Follow us on instagram and click on bio link to listen @by_podcast
Key Nuggets:
Perfectionism:
It’s a myth that aiming to be perfect makes you a better version of yourself. That’s not the type of striving that will create growth - in fact you’re doing it because it’s a way to shrink. It’s a way to fit into what you think is expected of you and avoid rejection rather than showing up as your true self. But it’s only showing up as your true self that allows you feel the sense of belonging that you crave.
What’s Life Coaching Really About?
The difference between coaching and therapy is that coaching is meant to help you move from functional (life is fine) to optimal (life is super awesome). Olena and I share how our coaches have helped us get to where we are now.
What Does Your Home Say About You - Living Space Tool:
We’re teaching you this tool so that you can use it to help you with a problem that you’re stuck on. Bring a paper and pen along so that you can do it too!
Sometimes we know something’s wrong but we don’t exactly know what it is. Or, we know exactly what’s wrong but it’s hard to think or talk about it. This is where the living space tool comes in.
I demonstrated the tool by coaching Olena. The tool helped reveal that her irritation with her disorganized balcony was related to her guilt of procrastinating on her finances. Her finances are hard to talk about - something that she doesn’t even want to touch. By talking about her balcony instead, we were able to alleviate some of the anxiety that she had about her finances.
Summary of Steps:
What part of your home do you dislike the most?
Use 3 words to describe this part of the home.
What else in your life matches the 3 words that you described.
What’s one thing that you can do to make this part of your home feel better?
You can go deeper with this by applying The Work to the problem that’s identified by Step 3. We taught you how to use this tool in Episode 128 with Amber Goodenough.
One of Your Biggest Lessons So Far:
We can’t always control the circumstances in our lives but we can control the meaning that we attach to it and our reaction to our circumstances.
As Viktor Frankl says in Man’s Search For Meaning - it’s our search for meaning that drives us in our lives.
What is one nugget of wisdom that you would share with fellow seekers who are on this journey of growth and transformation?
Recognize that there’s an inner child that sits within you. It was wounded when it was little and it’s part of your ego.
Go back to visit that child part within you to understand yourself at a deeper level.
Links:
If you have any questions for Melanie or want to learn more, connect with her through:
Website: Superwoman.School
Email: Olena@Superwoman.School
Instagram: @olena.gisys